The sun rose and a new day started. Yes, I know that it happens every day, but after crying yourself to sleep it still seems like a great feat.
I broke the news to my family that I can't afford Christmas presents, and had to ask for my Christmas money in advance. That hurt so very much. I'll be seeing them for the holiday, so that will have to be my gift. (Though, it hurts.. because I had JUST figured out what to get everyone too!)
I'm not going to be able to afford at $25 small tree, so we're going to dig the big tree out of storage. It's true, I didn't need a new Christmas tree, because I have a mostly working one already. It would have been nice. And it would have saved us from having to re-arrange the living room. It's ok. We needed to clean anyways.
We'll make it through. This weekend we'll make a shopping list, and take an inventory of what we already have.
I think all of this hit me so hard because it plays into my fear of losing my apartment and becoming homeless.
But now I move on. Tomorrow is another day, and there is enough in my account to pay the rent now.
The cool new Christmas shirts I wanted will have to wait.