Monday, April 24, 2017

And I ran... I ran so far away....

This weekend was the Run the D.O.G. 5K.

It was the first hot, humid day of the spring.  (Last time I ran this it was almost 40 degrees)

And I ran a crappy race.  I wore clothes for weather that was 20 degrees cooler.  I started in a corral that was WAY too advanced for me.  I tried to keep up with the faster runners.

After I got home, I had a long shower and had time to think.

This time next year is the Disney Star Wars Dark Side Half Marathon.  I was actually considering running it.  But after that disaster our 5K, I don't know if I CAN.  What I DO know is that this is something I can work on.  I can set my alarm on Saturdays and get those long runs in.  I can step up the cardio that I do.

But what I need to sit down and really think about is:  Do I WANT to do another half marathon (another 2, actually.  I'll need to run a fall half if I'm doing the spring one). I swore after the Princess Half that I never wanted to run a half marathon again, and here I cam contemplating another long race.

In the end, I've got some time to make this decision.  But in the meantime, I'm going to train.  There's no harm in it.

Well. I'll train, when it stops raining around here!

Does anyone else have a race they are thinking about?  or a race they are pondering?

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

I had such high hopes for this weekend too! (We're about to get TMI up in here)

I had a healthy Easter dinner planned!
I had a run scheduled!

But no... My body had other plans.
And before people get squeamish and run away, let me say this:

Why the hell are you getting squeamish and running away?  This is a process that most women on the planet go through every month.  It's messy and painful and life. It's not something obscene.  But yet, it's a major reason that women in developing areas miss out on education.

So, Sunday found me beginning that lovely time that I call "Shark Week."
I was on a run at the time.  Needless to say:  the run became a walk.

Monday I did something I've never done before.  I called out sick because the pain was so bad.  I mean, I tried.  I did some yoga.  Five minutes in I was in child's pose trying not to vomit from the pain.
And I know what you're thinking.  It's just cramps.  We all get them and I should get over it.  Well, yes.  women often get cramps.  But mine were bad.  And why should my pain be less important because it's associated with my period?

It shouldn't.

But often times, women's pain is dismissed.

(These were just the readily available articles....)

How many women here have had this?  People (men AND women) dismissing what you are feeling because "it's just your period" or (my favorite) "you're being hysterical?"  Most women have.  And this dismissal isn't just about abdominal pain either.  All sorts of pain are often ignored by medical professionals.  If you add being overweight to it, your chances of being taken seriously go down.

Thankfully, I'm feeling better today.  I have yet to ruin the pants that I am wearing.  I didn't run this morning, but that's OK.  Tomorrow is an arm day, and I can handle that.  I'll get back to my diet an exercise regimen (I need to look more carefully at what John Green did on his healthy mid-life crisis and do it too) tonight.

But seriously....

Ladies, if it hurts, fess up to it.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.  You're in PAIN!

And everyone in general:  If she says the pain is so bad that she might vomit... please don't think it's trivial.  It's either super bad cramps, or something worse.  She's not just the Girl who Cried Pain.  Go educate yourself.

And then there's this asshat.  (I can't believe he's serious... but I wouldn't be surprised)

Now, if you will excuse me... I need some chocolate.

Saturday, April 8, 2017

17 bags of trash later...

You know that box of random crap that you picked up somewhere along the way?  We've all had one form time to time...

Last weekend I discovered at least 6 of them!

Last weekend I walked upstairs into the storage room and noticed that our nice shelving was leaning precariously away from the wall.  The leaning tower of shelving!  So that day we emptied the shelves and started the great purge of 2017!

Some back story:  After I left my ex-husband I moved most of my belongings into my BFF's garage.  Over the course of that summer most of said possessions molded and most of it got thrown away.  After that, my attachment to things decreased sharply.

Over the last few years I've worked hard to find a place for everything, and put everything in its place.  I've gotten rod of most of the boxes of random crap that I had.

Sadly, my careful efforts didn't do anything to address the boxes and boxes of Legos that are all over the house, thanks to the Spousal Equivalent and his love of Mobile Frame Zero.
not an actual picture of our legos, we have WAY more!
While taking everything out of storage has been a gigantic pain in the ass, it's actually helped!  I've cleaned out a few closets.  I've reorganized much of my own things that I have in carefully labeled boxes.  And what seems like 17 bags of trash later... we have less boxes of Legos stuffed into every corner.

It's a slow moving process.  One that caused me to hurt my back.  But it's moving along.  And there's something therapeutic about it.  I know where my stuff is, and I can find it without too much bother!  I still have pockets of clothes here and there.  That's my next task.  But at least I know the shelving isn't going to collapse on me!

And tomorrow... we build a shed.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Light at the end of the tunnel

If you remember from last time, I've been under a bit of stress.

This week hasn't been as bad.  I mean, there were moments where I wish my coworker was here so I could ask her questions.  There will always be those moments.

But I have a plan.  On Mondays I work on everything that came in over the weekend, and take an inventory of all that needs to be done.  I group those tasks by category and assign a day to get those tasks done.  For instance, today is bill day.  This afternoon I'm going to focus on paying some bills.

There are those things that I can't seem to get to, and thankfully I'm getting help with that.

Things are looking up.  But there are still days when I feel like I'm drowning.

There are still days when I don't know how I'll get everything done.

There are still days when the house is an absolute disaster because I don't have the energy to clean.

There are days when the undone tasks, both work and home, feel like they are monsters lurking under the stairs, waiting to pounce.

But today isn't one of those days.  It's sunny and nice and I'm going to take a walk to the Colonial Area

And because it's a beautiful day, the best thing I've seen all week:

Thursday, March 30, 2017

A study in extreme stress

I drove home today, on the verge of tears.  I honestly don't know how much of this is stress and how much of this is hormonal...  (Yay, PMS!)  I spend most of the day either frantically working through a massive to-do list, or too paralyzed with the enormity of it all.  Thankfully, this week has been a bit better since I planned out the big tasks.  But there were still tears on the way home.  I'm living in this Möbius strip of stress at times.  Working away helps keep me from freaking out, but the sheer amount of work causes the freak outs...

What am I doing to help myself?

  • The one thing I AM doing is leaving at 5 every day and trying not to answer work emails at home.  Keep work at work and home at home.
  • I'm making a small pile of tasks that I can't get to.  I know there is someone else that will help, but I HATE fostering tasks onto someone else.  But then again, I don't have to be Super Woman...
  • I've also stepped up the running.  I don't know why running works so well, but it does.

What I need is a week at Disney World... and a lot sooner than we're actually going.

How do you handle stress?

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Sometimes you need a little organization

I've been doing two jobs for about a month now, and I'm starting to feel the strain.  The amount of undone work was getting to me.

Things hit a crisis point, so I found some organization.  I started using my Bullet Journal more effectively.
Step One:  On Friday, I took a page in my journal and made a list of everything that HAD to get done the next week.  

Step Two: I then identified the five largest tasks and assigned one each day.

Step Three: The other small tasks were split up.

Step Four: I sent home for the weekend and took some non-thinking-about-work time.  (And promptly got violently ill)

Step Five: Get stuff done!

Today is Wednesday, and it's been working so far.  In fact, I had a pile of bills come in yesterday, so I earmarked them for Bill Paying Day, which is Friday.

Why am I doing this?  I don't think we're going to be able to get someone in the open position for a while now and I don't want to lose my mind!  (At times I'm closer to losing losing my mind than others)  It's all got to get done, and apparently I'm the one to do it.

Let's hope that this can work in the long term.

Anyone else Bullet Journal?

Disclaimer:  My Bullet Journal is the most boring looking journal ever.... hence the lack of picture.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

What a long, strange trip this is

I've been at my current job for 6 years.  For five of them my coworker had been going to chemotherapy and away for periods both long and short.  For the last year my worst fear was that one day she'd leave, leaving me to pick up the work-pieces.

That happened last month.  She passed, after letting things slide for two months.  She passed, and left me to pick up the work-pieces.  My worst fear came true.

I think in the last few weeks I think I've called every department on campus asking about outstanding paperwork or if money has already been requested.  I've run up against things that I don't know how to do.  I've run up against things that multiple departments don't know how to do.  I've spent a lot of the last few weeks feeling dumb.  I've spent the last few weeks thinking that I'm close to being caught up and remembering a pile of undone tasks.
Frankly, I'm surprised that I haven't decided to say "screw it all" and have a cake for dinner. I deserve a medal for all of that willpower.  I'm even managing to work out almost every morning!

I know that eventually this will end.  Eventually the fiscal year will end, wiping the slate clean.  Eventually we'll hire someone to take over the extra tasks that I have to do.

Thankfully, the panic attacks aren't as frequent.  I no longer want to spend weekends in a blanket fort.  (Well, most weekends anyways..)

Can I got to Disney World yet?