Thursday, December 8, 2016

Happy Birthday, here, have a head cold

I woke up to this sight this morning:

Yes, today I turn 42.
What did I get for my birthday this year?  A nasty head cold!

Let me bring you back to the beginning of this cold:

Last Sunday:  Hey, I feel awful....
Last Monday and Tuesday:  can I nap now?
Last Wednesday:  Pink Eye.  Seriously, pink eye..
Last Thursday through Saturday:  The eyes got better, but the headcold remained
Last Sunday:  The head cold moved into my chest.  but I can't let that get me down.  I had a race!
Monday through Wednesday:  My breathing was impacted from the cold.  I went to the doctor.  Steroids.

Today is my Birthday.  I have my free Starbucks.  I also have 6 steroid pills to take.

But today is only a day.  I have a massage tonight!

Many Wonderful Christmas Ideas!

Christmas is my favorite time of year.  I love the food, the movies, the everything.  I immerse myself in the whole season from Thanksgiving until Christmas Day.  I tended to de-Christmas my house the day after.

The time is a wonderful time of hope, kindness an good will (or it should be).  Sadly, it tends to be a time of high commercialism.

But thanks to Facebook, I found some WONDERFUL gift ideas that I wanted to share!

We always struggle with what to give our families.  I KNOW parents have issues figuring out what to give their kids.  Heck, I think this is an amazing idea!

I try to always keep an updated book Wish List on Amazon.  (I think my current one is a Kindle list, but you get my idea).  And I'm just enough of an introvert to love the idea of sitting around in PJs reading!

This one came to me today.  It's a brilliant idea!  A movie, PJs, snacks and cocoa.  I think for adults it should also include small bottles of booze to put in the cocoa.

This one applies to my friends with kids.  The idea is to get the kids to fill the bag before Christmas Eve.  Santa takes the bag away and leaves new toys in its place.  What a wonderful way to get rid of the clutter.

That reminds me, I need to start another donation bag myself!

Saturday, November 12, 2016

More Post-Election thoughts

There is no doubt that this election has been ugly, and continues to be so.

But I honestly believe that there are some things that both sides MUST do because we can't live like this

Well, some people can, but most of us can't.


1.) let's talk about the protests.  I get it.  You have every right to be upset.  You have every right to PEACEFULLY demonstrate your anger.  But can we refrain from property damage and violence?  I've said this for a long while now.  Once it gets violent, the message is lost and all people see is the violence.  The Daily Show had some good words about it:

2.) As a party, the Democrats need to change.  They have virtually ignored the rural working class and their problems and this is not right.  Here's some reading to that note:

They can't keep going on the way that they have been.  Honestly, POLITICS as usual can't.  And if Trump continues Washington politics as usual, this will be your time to come and and actually change!!!

3.) We need to work hard to make sure that their populations that are currently afraid are supported and helped.

4.) We can acknowledge that this is going to suck, here is a great article to that.

On the Republican side
1.) The day after the election there were protests, but there were also reports of racist graffiti.  Social media has lit up with stories of harassment to minorities in Trump's name.  It happened after Brexit too.  Now, are all of those reports true?  Maybe, maybe not.  But the feelings are still there.  I asked the Clinton supporters to refrain from violence.  The other side needs to as well.  Violence is never an answer.

2.) Y'all voted your guy in on his promises of change.  Well, I hate to tell you this, but Washington cronies and lobbiests are part of his team now.  I'll wager that after all of this, nothing actually will change.  I understand why you voted for the guy!  I totally get it!  (Unless you want to kick out all the Muslims, or are pro-gay conversion therapy... I'll never get that)  I voted for Sanders in the primary! 

Trump ran on a platform that spoke to the working class.  And already he's said some things I like.  Yay fixing the infrastructure!  But economists have looked at his policies, and there's a REALLY good chance that your welfare and Medicare will get cut and your taxes will go up.    Let's all hope it doesn't.

3.) Republicans NEED to understand WHY many Clinton supporters are afraid.  The LGBT community is afraid of Pence.  Immigrants (the legal ones) are afraid of being deported.  Muslims are afraid of violence or Government action against them because of their religion, even if only a few of the religion are terrorists.

Did we all get that?  I know that I'm preaching to the choir, and that a lot of supporters on either side think that compromise will never happen.  Both sides are afraid that the other will take away their rights and civil liberties.

But coming together must happen.  Until then, I'll leave you with funny GIFs

Thursday, November 10, 2016

The Morning After

Yesterday was hard.  My student worker spent most of her shift crying.  Students of color are ALREADY experiencing harassment on campus.
And I had a complete and total meltdown.

You can see it everywhere.  The Klan in North Carolina.  Twitter lighting up with men that are excited to assault women.  People with insurance through the ACA and LGBT folks are terrified.

After scrolling through Facebook and seeing the fear and hatred all day, I lost it.

I got home and started to sob.  Just just a quiet cry.  A loud, gasping ugly cry.  

When asked why I answered:  meetings, faxes, and the general hatred and intolerance in the world.

I put myself to bed early after watching Harry Potter.

This morning, I did this meditation:
(Totally not safe for work)

Am I making the world better?  am I fighting injustice?  Nope.  Right now, I'm simply trying to refrain from going crazy.

If you want to call me selfish go right ahead.

But I've had some thoughts:
  • Right now it's the rabid, hateful Trump supporters that I fear.  The ones that think that his "Candidate Trump" persona is an acceptable way to act.
  • Honestly, Pres-Elect Trump NEEDS to tell everyone that this behavior isn't acceptable.  He's the ONLY one that can stop it, since he made it permissible.
  • Will that happen?  Probably not.
  • I wonder if the Trump that made that acceptance speech is the President we'll get?
  • I wonder if he's not freaking out now because he has to DO this job?
  • In his acceptance speech he said he wanted to fix the infrastructure and the VA.  Dude, if you can do that, you'll have earned a point or two from me.
  • But I have a feeling he'll end up killing the environment and structuring tax cuts that help the rich, but hurt his voter base.
Right now, until January at least,  I think the biggest threat to us are the hateful masses and their thinking that harassment and violence are acceptable.

That is what hurts my heart.
And honestly, if I have to be selfish and hide in a blanket fort for a while in an attempt to keep my sanity, I'm going to do just that.

And I won't apologize for it.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I'm just heartsick....

This is how I started my night last night.

Clinton was polling well.  I thought it would fall along those lines...

But I was wrong.

I woke this morning to a new world.
I experienced the 5 stages of grief right there on twitter:

1.) Denial:
2.) Anger:

3.) Bargaining:

4.) Depression:

5.) Acceptance-  well.... I haven't gotten there yet...

I woke to a Facebook feed that was full of posts with helpful information on suicide and depression hotlines.  These weren't the angry "I'm moving to Canada" posts.  These were frightened people.  People of color.  LGBT people.  People who depend on the ACA to live.  People that have in the few short hours since the election have already saw violence and threats against minorities.

I had a friend post about it on Facebook, and a lot of what he had to say rang true:

So who should be vilified in this? I'm going to make an unpopular statement and say it's the Democratic voters. From where I'm sitting, I see two main things that cost Clinton this election:
1) Polling numbers are showing one of the big last minute swing issues was the announcement of ACA Premiums going up next year. Regardless of who is to blame, the blame got pinned on the Democrats because Obamacare was the crown jewel of the last eight years. People will vote with their wallets. If they are about to feel a major pinch, they will lash out against the people who are doing the pinching. In this case, the group in the crosshairs were the Democrats. Yes, I fully understand the increases are not solely the fault of the Democrats. Emotion doesn't make fine judgements, however. For families already feeling financial hardship, this only adds to it.
2) For several years now, white middle America has been dismissed with disdain by the Left. They've been labeled as backwards yokels who have to be dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. Their concerns have been dismissed and disregarded, and they have repeatedly been told they are wrong and stupid. Regardless of their stance or their positions, take a moment to think about how you would feel if you were told that year after year. How would you react? How would you vote when you have a candidate come along who is willing to listen, says he'll fix the issues near and dear to you, and doesn't denigrate you?
Actually, a lot of that makes sense.  The electorate that swung the the vote were low to middle income rural white guys.  (Or said the guys on NBC last night).  They were voting with their wallets, and trying to change the status quo that has been shafting them.  I totally understand that.  I fear that thinking will bite them in the ass.

The dollar and the Dow plunged as the results came in (just like Brexit).  That's not good.  Companies are already bracing for another recession.

How do we fix it?  My friend had some good ideas:
So how do we correct this? Both sides need to start talking TO each other instead of AT each other. Concentrate on correcting the problems rather than attacking the people involved in the problem. Yes, I am fully aware that some people simply aren't going to change. Some people genuinely hold positions that are abhorrent to me and others. But dismissing everyone else around them only makes the problem worse. There is a clear difference between Rural and Urban viewpoints now. Unless people start listening and making an attempt to find some commonality, it's only going to get worse.
That being said, I fully acknowledge there are some issues where there is no middle ground. On the Conservative side, they need to realize that trying to use the Government to enforce their religious beliefs is completely antithetical to the founding documents and ideals of this country. If it doesn't directly affect you, then it should be none of your business. Period. End of story. Love thy neighbor. Leave the judging and punishing, if there is to be any, to God. While a number of people want to pull out the love the sinner, hate the sin line, the facts of their actions put a lie to this. Denying someone the right to do something simply because your religion thinks it's wrong when it has no negative impact on your life is a move toward Theocracy. Put that aside, accept that people are going to do things you don't like that in no way impact your life, and move along.
If we as a country don't start talking to each other, then this grand experiment in Democracy is going to go down in flames. People need to stop being defensive when problems are brought forward. The idiotic "NOT ALL " arguments do nothing to fix things. They're simply another case of trying to dismiss the issue and say there isn't really one. This leads to frustration, anger, and backlash. If people don't learn to put Ego aside and actually address problems, this is only going to get worse.
Where does that leave us?  Well, we now know the staggering amount of bigotry, homophobia, xenophobia and racism our country has.  We know the lengths the "non-college educated white male electorate" will go to to keep their privilege.

I am genuinely afraid for immigrant communities, the LGBT community, and communities of color.  I am afraid for my friends that might lose their health care.  I'm afraid for women.

Things have already started.  Name calling.  Twitter is alight with men that legitimately thin that sexual assault is OK now, because Trump won.  The harassment of people of color and Islamic people has already started.

But my friend is right.  If we can't find some kind of common ground, things are going to get ugly.  And fast.

And I see a lot of Mr. Rogers and Disney movies in my immediate future.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Fitness and other Reindeer Games

Last weekend I ran a 5K.

It's actually been quite some time since I last ran a race.

Apparently it's been too long.  I simply don't have the stamina!  I was seriously huffing and puffing before the first mile!

Combine that with the realization that the end cycle of my current workout was NOT going work...  And I need to make some changes.

Well, I've been trying to make changes for years now.  I just need something to stick.  Maybe I'll start small.  I'll make sure to measure and track EVERYTHING tomorrow, and make that commitment for the next day.  I'll make a commitment to not half-ass my workout.  To stretch after.

I now have a goal!  And a reward!

When I lose 20 pounds, I'm going to happily drive my butt to the Williamsburg Winery and buy myself a bottle of Adagio.  (Don't look at the price... this is why it's a reward)  Sadly, it's a wine that needs to sit in a cellar and mature for a bit... so I can't open it for another 10 pounds.

I need to find some sore of daily reward/motivator as well....  A reward for tracking, portioning, working out and doing my chores.  Is it sad that I'm contemplating a sticker chart.  Like I'm 4?  And in all of this madness, I was actually considering going back to Beachbody Coaching to see if I can make a buck.  I don't know if it'll actually happen, though.

I just need to find a similar motivation for the Spousal Equivalent, who has gotten on the health bandwagon with me.

In other news the anxiety is better, but still not great.  I know it's a contributing factor with the unhealthy eating and all.

Here's to picking goals and sticking with them!

I'll check back next Monday to give a progress report!

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

High Anxiety

Or the better version:

(At the 2:55 mark)

I've been struggling with anxiety BIG TIME lately.  And who can blame me?  A lot of people are!

All day long we are bombarded with the ins and outs of candidates and awful things they say.

(And, frankly, Donald Trump scares me...)

Between negativity on television, and negativity with my friends on social media, it's all a bit much to take.  (And honestly a lot of this might just be hormonal!)

And this year it's especially bad.

I've been teetering on this edge of dissolving into tears.

And I did just that last night while starting dinner.

I pulled sausage out of fridge and lost it.  I was all:
Thankfully, The Flash wasn't full of his usually stupidity and I was able to watch it.  Yes, Barry's
convenient forgetting that messing with the timeline is BAD drove me out of the room last week.  This week, he apparently got a clue.

It's been a bit of a struggle to get up every morning and exercise.  I'd much rather sleep longer.  But I know that that's not what I need.

Though, today I did 40 minutes of Yin Yoga.  I know that I need cardio, but I just couldn't.  Actually, I think it helped!  I might try to add 15 minutes of yoga in the mornings.... if I can get up for it...

I think until this passes, I need to simply do the best that I can.

I'm trying my best to work on my diet.  I know that it helps.  But sometimes the occasional glass of wine with dinner is consumed.

I'm trying my best to exercise.  I'm about to finish up Focus T25.  I'm also running.  In fact, I had a race this weekend!

As long as I get up in the morning and DO something, it'll get me through.

You know what also helps?

Puppies (even if they ARE sitting on my work clothes)