Thursday, August 13, 2020

Crushing Existential Dread

 I've not been in the best of places over the last few days.  


Why?  

  • Classes are starting next week.  2 weeks early
  • Classes are taking places online and in weird places around campus
  • Every. Single. Email. that campus comes out with has a new portent of disaster (salary reductions and furloughs have been mentioned)
  • I have a million problems and not a single damn easy solution in the bunch!
  • I have to do manual labor at work.  In a mask!  Which sucks!
  • My house is a mess but I don't have the mental capacity to even deal with it!
  • I feel like there's something awful on the horizon (losing my job, getting sick, death) but I don't know when or where it'll strike.
  • My downstairs toilet doesn't like flushing anymore
  • The daily thunderstorm is a nice touch....
  • Oh, and it's hurricane season.. so that's fun!

My normal coping mechanisms generally require people.. and can't be done in the wake of a pandemic.  I feel like I'm about to cry. But the tears never come.

I also know that by the end of next week most of my stressors will be taken care of, and things will get easier.

In other news, I was thinking of starting a YouTube channel.  I wonder if anyone would subscribe?

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