Why not hang out with friends? Why not go out?
Because (while I know it’s not true), most times I feel like my existence is a burden on my friends. Heck, we’re having a wedding reception and I’m terrified that no one will show up.
Is this true? I don’t rationally think so. But the nagging in the back of my mind is rather loud at times. Why would these people want to be around you? You’re a looser.
A bit ago I started taking vocal lessons. It was something I’d always wanted to do. I was soon swept up into the fall concert. Then they gave me two small solos.
Going to rehearsals has been tough. I spend time freaking out that I don’t deserve the solos, no matter how small they are. (Like seriously... it’s 2 lines of 2 different songs). I’m a crap singer that has been taking lessons for 2 months, that inner voice says. Everyone will laugh at you, the voice whispers in my ear.
What am I going to do about it? Just keep plugging away. Keep working with the vocal lessons. Keep screwing my courage on and interacting with my friends. Fake it till you make it.