I've read that a variety of things can affect mood and mental outlook. Hormones, time of year, stress levels....
I must be in a weird place, because I've hit a strange place.
After finishing up the school year with commencement, I am now allowed to breathe a bit. (But only a bit, because I just got a few "Why isn't this done???" emails.)
After a day in a dress and heels, and an afternoon at a theme park, I went to bed dosed up on asthma meds and Benadryl.
I woke up in quite the funk.
I woke up feeling fat, ugly and stupid.
I woke up wondering if anyone cared if I was around, or would notice my absence.
I woke up feeling that my purpose in life was to work, do jobs that aren't mine, and clean.
And we know that those things aren't true. I know that they aren't. I'm sure it's dehydration, exhaustion and hormones.
But today I feel fat, ugly and unattractive.
And I know this will go away.
I'll hide on the sofa today. I'll lose myself in a show. I'll work on that dehydration thing. (Seriously, I feel hungover, but I haven't had alcohol in ages).
I'll get up tomorrow and run and get back to the being healthy thing.
And I'll tell myself that this too shall pass.