Friday, January 29, 2016

I just quit my church.... and I don't know how I feel about it...

It's been nearly a year since I've been to my church for service.

Part of it is the fact that I run most weekend mornings...

But the majority of the problem is completely in my own head.

The issue started years ago.  I didn't feel up to the standard.  I wasn't a vegan civil justice and eco-warrior.  I wasn't installing solar panels on my house or marching on Washington or feeding the homeless.

It also doesn't help that the congregation has had a surge in membership.  The coffee hour between the services was an exercise in social anxiety.  Then singing in the choir would lead to full grown panic.  Then I got a call from a very well meaning old lady.  She was asked to call me because I hadn't been to church in a while, but she honestly had no idea who I was.

And that was the beginning of the end.  I don't know what it was about that, but I started thinking that everyone was talking about me behind my back, speculating as to why I was no longer there.

(Remember, this is in my own head.  No one has done anything wrong!)

I remember sitting in my living room after the call, laughing hysterically.  Laughing in that "as you ok....?" kind of way.

"People are talking about me.  I can't ever go back there.  They'll know....." Know what?  That I've been absent?  Well, people that care often realize that you aren't there...  Know that I'm crazy?

Then I got an email from the most kind, caring, well-intentioned guy at the entire church, wondering where I was.

I got another one before Christmas.  That's when I decided that the pressure to return was too great to actually return.  Once I knew that people were actively looking out for me, I started feeling all sorts of expectations and pressure.  I was done.

See?  Completely in my head.

I was going to actually wait until I could get the Chorus Music Library straightened out, but the December email was it.

So I'm out.  I officially have no church.

And I don't know how I feel about that....

No comments: