Saturday, October 6, 2012

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I've owned this book for years, but only read it a year and a half ago.

I was reluctant to read it again before seeing the movie.


Because it resonates so strongly with me that it's scary.

The book is a series of letters from Charlie to a nameless friend.  In these letters Charlie details his first year of High School.  He talk about being a loner, dating, making friends, losing friends, and mental scars that he tries to keep hidden.  The movie moves beyond the letters, letting us see the world around Charlie, not just what he tells his "friend."

I remember reading the book and wanting to take a highlighter to it (Something I'd rather do with the eBook).  Chbosky summed up many of the things that were written on my heart.

I went through periods with no friends.  I dated people simply because they asked, and was completely unsure as to how to get out of the relationship.  I've been the person with friends that were parted by college (though it was me leaving, and not them).  I've had thoughts and images in my mind that I couldn't get rid of.

This is why we had to stop for shakes
But unlike Charlie, I've never eaten a pot brownie or dropped acid.

I'm a wallflower.

There are millions of us around.  We sit back and watch, and notice things (if I have a lot on my mind the notice thing gets spotty).  We are quiet, and tend to get forgotten about easily.

We also can be fragile.

Toward the end of the movie, Charlie is in a rather bad place.  He cries about pain.  Why there is so much pain in the world.  Like he's feeling everyone's pain.  I know that feeling well.

This is why wallflowers, while sometimes fragile, are important.  We can't ever forget the pain of others, for being numb to pain will in the end create more pain.

But Charlie gets past it.  With the help of friends.

When we get past it, we feel infinite.

"But mostly, I was crying because I was suddenly very aware of the fact that it was me standing up in that tunnel with the wind over my face. Not caring if I saw downtown. Not even thinking about it. Because I was standing in the tunnel. And I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite."

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