Thursday, August 2, 2012

An Unexpected Phonecall

Back when my marriage ended in 2009, I leaned on a friend for support.  Things happened, and the support turned into a relationship.  If you can call it that.  I was lost and broken, and this person gave me peace and hope.  Unfortunately, the peace was shattered when the fledgling relationship, and the emotional support all but disappeared.  I made clear my abandonment issues.  I made clear that being forgotten and invisible was my greatest fear.

I was abandoned and forgotten.

Looking back, I should have said no.  I shouldn't have taken the comfort that was offered.  But I was hurting and lost.

Things happened.

I was angry.  For a long time I was angry.  I wanted to look this person in the eyes and scream about how much I was hurt.  About how everyone knew my issues, yet those issues were played upon.  I wanted to scream about how I was broke, and this person did it.

I wondered if there was remorse.  I wondered if the person even cared.

Eventually I decided that the anger wasn't healthy, so I let it go.  We lived in different parts of the state.  We'd never see each other again.  It was time to move on.  And I did.

Fast forward to last night.  My phone rang.  I didn't recognize the number.  A voice mail was left.  I didn't recognize the voice.

Apparently step 8 for those friends of Bill W is to made amends.  I got a call to make amends.  My hurt was acknowledged.  I know that there was remorse.

One messed up thing in my life has a resolution.

Thank you.

Thank you for not forgetting about me.

2 comments:

BardicGifts said...

And thank you for sharing this moment with us. It was a powerful one, that could have easily been kept private, but making it public for us to read we can gather our own strength from what we've read here.

Jess said...

I'm very glad that there was some resolution to that whole event.