Back when my marriage ended in 2009, I leaned on a friend for support. Things happened, and the support turned into a relationship. If you can call it that. I was lost and broken, and this person gave me peace and hope. Unfortunately, the peace was shattered when the fledgling relationship, and the emotional support all but disappeared. I made clear my abandonment issues. I made clear that being forgotten and invisible was my greatest fear.
I was abandoned and forgotten.
Looking back, I should have said no. I shouldn't have taken the comfort that was offered. But I was hurting and lost.
I was angry. For a long time I was angry. I wanted to look this person in the eyes and scream about how much I was hurt. About how everyone knew my issues, yet those issues were played upon. I wanted to scream about how I was broke, and this person did it.
I wondered if there was remorse. I wondered if the person even cared.
Eventually I decided that the anger wasn't healthy, so I let it go. We lived in different parts of the state. We'd never see each other again. It was time to move on. And I did.
Fast forward to last night. My phone rang. I didn't recognize the number. A voice mail was left. I didn't recognize the voice.
Apparently step 8 for those friends of Bill W is to made amends. I got a call to make amends. My hurt was acknowledged. I know that there was remorse.
One messed up thing in my life has a resolution.
Thank you for not forgetting about me.